Man and Woman
by Kyla45
Summary: As they watch two men in a...compromising situation. Oneshot. Usami & Misaki


I closed my eyes, stretching my arms wide and letting out an obnoxious yawn. God! Of all the boring, boring things, why did I choose business as my profession? It was bad enough, sitting through hours upon hours of pointless talk, but it was even worse because I was just a lowly assistant, running coffee errands and picking up freaking _dry-cleaning_ all in the vain hope my boss would promote me. Even to a position that actually required a little bit more from me.

I hadn't gone to school to pick up coffee for the rest of my life!

Well...another day was done. No use complaining and bitching about it, I suppose. It wasn't like that would change a damn thing.

Instead, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and made my way to the men's bathroom. Once I emptied my aching bladder, an idea came to mind that instantly made my day seem a little brighter.

There was this girl, woman, I guess, who worked in security. Her job was as low ranking as mine; she sat in front of a bunch of monitors all day, making sure things were...ugh, secure.

I'd met her at some stupid staff party with crappy food, and I'd taken quite a liking to her. Maybe, if I played my cards right and stopped into her dwellings, I could get some sort of date out of it all.

So that's it! That's my plan. A final go at some semblance of happiness before I hit the hay tonight.

I found myself standing in front of the door, with SECURITY written in bold. I tried the doorknob, and cautiously walked in, forgetting myself – and my manners – in my sudden nervousness.

What I saw was the woman, the most excited look smeared sloppily all across her face. She was watching one of the monitors in particular, had turned up the sound, and was studying it with rapt attention. She certainly didn't notice me.

" Um...hello?" I ventured, cursing as my voice sounded stupid and unsure. I was suppose to come off as arrogant and strong!

Not even batting an eyelash, her arm whipped around at me, one slender finger pointed up.

" Shhh!" she hushed, her voice too, exhibiting her excitement.

" Uh...Wh-"

" I said _be quiet_!" she rushed out. Like lightning, she turned her head to me, and nodded at one of the chairs, telling me silently I could stay, before quickly turning back to the screen.

I walked slowly to the chair next to her, and when I saw exactly _what_ she was watching, I couldn't help but make a startled 'oh' sound.

I thought I saw her glaring at me from the corner of her eyes, but a particularly loud _moan_ from the speakers erased the harsh look completely.

On the screen were two...males. They were situated in one of the fancier rooms, one usually booked for very important board meetings, complete with a small kitchenette, a soda machine, and a lavish couch. Of course, there was a huge table in the middle, with fancy, cushiony chairs.

The two men were sprawled across the couch. Well, one of them looked quite a bit younger than the other, but it was still mind boggling that they were...they both...were the same sex.

At another erotic sound from the speaker, the woman beside me bit on her bent finger, her eyes glued to the screen.

The older one was smirking a trademark smirk, (that I knew everyman to possess) as he teased the younger. He trailed kissed down his chest, lingering in spots I'm sure he must have memorized long ago, that made the small one squeeze his eyes shut and moan, body withering helplessly.

The smaller one, with brown hair and a disheveled look about him, panted and, oddly enough, tried to push the other off of him. From where I sat, it looked like he was enjoying the attention...

It was then that I tuned into the sounds drifting from the speaker.

" Usagi-san! A-ahh...stop! Stop it, you can't...we can't...not here!"

" Misaki, I can't possibly leave you in this state, can I?" the older man's voice drifted through the room, velvety soft as his hand snuck under the waistband of Misaki's pants.

" Nnngh, Usa-Usagi-san!" The woman beside me made some sort of squeaking sound. My wide eyes took in the screen...and...God! I can't believe I'm watching this with the person I'm supposed to be asking out right now!

I didn't dare speak. And meanwhile, trying to gather my courage, I noticed more and more what was happening on the screen. It seemed whatever resolve this Misaki fellow had to stop Usagi was melting like chocolate left out in the sun on a scorching day.

As Usagi gave his undivided attention to kissing and licking and nipping at every inch of exposed skin he could get at, consequently making Misaki squirm, the boy seemed to get increasingly frustrated about something. Sexually frustrated about something, if my vast experience did not fail me.

" Mmfph. Usagi-san..." it was a call, really, more than a cry.

When Usagi didn't stop what he was doing, Misaki took it upon himself to tug at the older man's hair, quite harshly from where I sat.

Usagi came to face the boy, raising an eyebrow playfully. " Yes?"

Suddenly, Misaki looked like he'd lost anything even resembling a backbone. His face flushed even more deeply than it had been and he averted his eyes. He lifted one of his arms to rest on Usagi's shoulder, no longer trying to force the man away.

" I...I..." his face was overcome by some internal anger, and he lifted his free arm to clutch at the other man's shirt, pulling him...closer.

Usagi chuckled, and just as quickly, crushed his lips to Misaki's. The immediate look of satisfaction washed over the younger's face, and he kissed back quite actively, moaning a little moan that was dripping with honey. His arms wrapped completely around Usagi, and I suppressed the impulse to make another sound when his hips lifted in urgence.

When they separated, the older spoke in the same velvet tone, arrogance and playfulness consuming his words. " All you had to do was ask for a kiss."

" Shut up! Stupid-Usagi!" The boy flushed again, and I wondered at how he was able to resemble a tomato.

For good measure, I suppose, Usagi gave another passionate kiss to the boy underneath him, before once again moving down his body. More groans and moans filled the security room, and I slapped my forehead with my hand, averting my eyes.

" Look...maybe we should give them some privacy," I tried.

The woman momentarily looked at me, shock and outrage clearly outlined on her visage.

" _What?" _she hissed.

"...I'll get us some soda," I replied lamely. I stood up, patting myself on the back for coming up with an excuse to leave, but still come back. Hopefully, this would be over when I did.

She nodded at me, now turned back to watching the screen.

Under my breath, I couldn't help but adding, " Should I get some popcorn too?" Thankfully, the woman didn't seem to notice my remark.

I heard one final, loud cry from the boy as I exited the room, closing the door in dramatic relief.

I rushed to the soda machine down the hall, trying to rid myself of my by now flustered state. How did I get myself into these situations?

I took my time as I purposely fumbled with change, finally getting two cans of soda. I made sure to take slow, measured steps back to the room. In front of one particular door, as fate would freaking have it, I heard a _particularly_ loud shout of ecstacy.

" Oh God," I hissed.

Knowing those two were only a couple of meters away from me had me hurrying back to the security room, where I was then affronted by the very thing I was running from.

" Soda!" she said curtly, a warm glow on her face. She extended her hand, palm up, so I tossed her the can. She caught it with precision and didn't give me any other acknowledgment.

With a sigh of resignation, I took my seat again, and told myself to stop being so critical. So what if I was essentially watching porn? So what if she was...enjoying it? So what if it was two guys! Have an open mind, sit back and try and see what she sees...

Yeah...right. That wasn't going to happen. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. I knew, for one, that she wouldn't appreciate that. Despite this awkward, weird as hell situation, I still wanted to get her phone number...I think.

" Oooh, mm..." I heard Misaki's frantic cries, and finally turned my eyes back to the screen. _Oh, God._ They were...well, they were going at it like a pair of rabbits. Luckily, the angle of the camera prevented too much scarring on my part, but I could still see enough.

After the initial shock, I narrowed my eyes, almost suspiciously. I realized in an instant what this woman seemed to have noticed right off the bat. Even I had to admit, this wasn't really quite the porno I'd made it out to be. Despite the situation, there was still something tender about each embrace, and each movement, no matter how need-driven. By and by, of course, this was just a observation.

...I had to remind myself to stop being so observative.

On the screen, Usagi buried his head into the younger's shoulder, just as Misaki gave a violent shudder and loud cry. From the older man, a low 'Misaki' was sounded before they both went slack against one another.

Misaki was breathing heavily, his face still red, and his lids closed tightly together. His arms were wrapped almost protectively around the older man's form as they both came down from their high.

The boy was the first to speak, now looking very spent. " Stupid Usagi! I can't sleep on this couch, I'm tired. We made a mess, we're not at home, you shouldn't have..." he was complaining in fragmented sentences, his voice indeed reflecting his worn state.

He kept on telling the man on top of him how stupid he was, but his arms still held him, and a lazy satisfaction of a deep nature was affecting his whole face.

Usagi gave a tiny sigh, barely registering on the speakers. He tried to sit up, but Misaki gave a small sound of protest and held tighter to the older man. Finally, Usagi pushed himself up, hovering over the boy.

He seemed to gaze at Misaki for a long time, resting on his elbows, their chests touching. He reached out a hand and ran it through the boy's hair, eliciting a frown from him, but also making Misaki lean into the touch.

I sat up in my chair a little, finding the reaction of this boy to be slightly intriguing. The woman noticed my increased attention, and I saw her smirking.

As Usagi's hand was now resting on Misaki's cheek, he spoke, soft and deep.

" I love you."

In a quick motion, Misaki's hands shot up to hug the man close to him, crushing Usagi to his body so that he couldn't see his face. He held on tight, his eyes looking almost fretful, and past that, there was a very warm glint present, making his brown eyes seem to melt. A soft look passed over his face, and I saw him smiling brilliantly, if a little timidly. He nuzzled the older man slightly with his cheek, huffing.

He made his voice sound grumpy, when his face painted the absolute opposite. " Idiot, Usagi-san."

I knew then why the boy was so averted to letting Usagi see his expression.

A sudden squeal alerted me back to reality. The woman had her hand covering her mouth, her eyes looking watery as a stunning blush covered her cheeks all the way to her ears. Her hand dropped lifelessly into her lap, and she smiled then, goofily, and utterly happily.

I remarked that she looked real good like that.

" What?" the sudden outburst made my eyes swivel back to the screen. Misaki looked angry, but his heart, obviously, wasn't in it. The afterglow still gave him a peaceful, unperturbed air. Or, I suppose, maybe that's just what this Usagi guy did for him.

" Come on, that's what janitors are for," the older man said.

" We can't leave this place like this...we just can't!"

" Did you want to clean up, then?"

Misaki faltered, still hugging the man close to him. " No...but that's because I'm tired! I'm sleepy because of _you_, idiot, so you should clean up!"

" Nah. Come on, I'll carry you home." Misaki said 'no!' but he didn't look so opposed to the idea.

They sat up, and Usagi helped the sluggish boy get dressed, Misaki looking close to falling asleep in his arms.

At one point, the boy slumped, resting his head in the crook of Usagi's shoulder and closing his eyes. He mumbled something that sounded like 'all your fault.' They stayed like that for a while, and I let my eyes drift back to my companion.

" So...what do you think? Is that guy really going to carry him home?" I was trying to be funny, trying to break this weird silence, but I think she took my question seriously.

" I think he'd go to the ends of the earth for that boy," she replied, her voice verging on dreamy.

I was slightly flabbergasted. But I was also compelled to agree. " Yeah."

Soon enough, they were dressed, and sure enough, Usagi had scooped the boy into his arms, cradling him there for a moment. The boy leaned into the body heat surrounding him, and even if I was a guy, I had to admit the whole scene was pretty touching.

When Usagi sat up and kept Misaki huddled in his arms, the boy slowly started to notice what was happening.

" Uhh, Usagi-san, idiot, put me down," he grumbled.

" I don't feel like it," was the response given. As if this was the indicator that the boy couldn't win, Misaki buried his blushing face in Usagi's chest, attempting to shield himself from all the people that were sure to be staring. His hands clutched at the man's shirt, and he stifled a groan.

Usagi laughed. " Don't worry, I'll tell anyone who'll listen you had a little too much to drink."

" I've had a little too much of you!" was the muffled reply.

" You mean to say, not nearly enough."

" Ugh!"

Usagi walked out of the room, holding Misaki preciously, and leaving all the evidence of their love-making in his wake.

The screen now was empty of all life. The woman beside me let out a long, breathy sigh.

" Wow," she spoke, grabbing her can of soda and taking a swig.

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't even find it in myself to move a finger.

Then, she turned to me. She smiled _shyly_ before clearing her throat.

" So, how have you been?" was her innocent, 'no-we-were-not-just-watching-two-guys-having-sex' question.

It took me a while to reply, because I almost wanted to laugh. " Good. Uh, listen, can I just ask...wh-"

" Oh, you're wondering why...what just happened, yes?" her cheeks became a little rosy, but she was smiling again.

" Yeah, actually."

" Well see, I was having a horrible day, and then I saw those two walk into the room, and suddenly it became clear that, well, they were lovers!"

I could have gathered that much on my own, really, so I was thankful she kept going.

" Your visit was...welcomed, and I'm glad you didn't get scared. I had to see..._that_ through to the end. I've always been a sap for romance..."

I gave a nervous laugh, testing the waters. " It was pretty obvious you weren't going to talk until they were...done, so I thought I'd wait it out."

" Oh, and I'm glad you did! How about we grab some drinks?" she rushed out, her rosy cheeks turning just a little more tinted.

" Actually, that sounds great." We both grinned at each other, and then, we were holding our sides as we laughed.

If, in the future, things ever got serious between us, I'd be telling the guys at work, and the bartender when I was drunk...

'Yeah! We first bonded after we'd watched two guys having sex! Just as it was happening too!'

As I laughed, I was happy to say that my job suddenly didn't seem so boring after all.

* * *

[edit] Just fixed a couple grammar mistakes and tweaked some sentences. [/edit]

...HAHA! Wow. This is probably the most comedic/fluffy/ridiculous piece of work I've ever upchucked! Lemme just say it was loads of fun to write! Just goes to show what reading too much of those R-rated fics will do to a brain.

Also, some of the details are really vague. I'm thinking this happens in the Usami business building...where ever that is, and I've no idea why Usami and Misaki are just there, or why they decide to get it on in a random room. This is just random fun I wanted, so there!

Well, I've been delaying a crap load of homework, and I should really get back to that. Hope ya enjoyed that. Drop a review?

PS. To _dolphina23,_ if you thought this was my promised fic to you, I'm sorry! Just think of it as a small, comedic sneak peek of what's to come! I'm working on it! Slowly but surely! (I'm sorry!)

Love, Kyla


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